World Nature
by Dewdropmon
Summary: A series of Hetalia episodes written in the style of a nature show.
1. The Wild Russia's Mating Kol

Welcome nature lovers to the first episode of World Nature.

In today's episode, we will be observing a wild Russia in its natural habitat. We join the wild Russia just after it wakes from its afternoon nap in the sunflower field it lives near. The wild Russia loves sunflowers and this one in particular likes to take a nap in this field every day.

The wild Russia walks through the sunflowers, stopping to sniff one every now and then, smiling happily at the cheery yellow petals. It makes its way its watering hole beyond the field, the Vodka River. So far, we've only seen this Russia drink from this particular stream. There must be something about it that it likes….

What's this? The wild Russia seems to be making some kind of sound….

Ladies and Gentlemen: we are fortunate enough to be witnessing a rare thing. This wild Russia is doing its mating call. Let's listen in….

"…"

I wonder what creature will respond to the mating kol?

Oh! What's that over there?

Oh my! The wild Russia's mating kol seems to have attracted a wild China!

A wild China responding to a wild Russia's mating kol. This is not something one sees every day! Let's see what happens….

The wild China cautiously approaches the wild Russia.

Oh no! It seems that a wild Belarus has also been attracted by the wild Russia's mating kol!

Seeing the wild Belarus, the wild Russia ceases it's mating kol and switches to its fear signal:

"GOAWAYGOAWAYGOAWAY…"

Meanwhile, the wild Belarus had begun its own mating call:

"Marrymemarrymemarryme…"

Look at that! The wild Belarus is now rushing at the wild Russia, chanting its mating call faster! What will the wild Russia do?

The wild Russia seems to be panicking! It pulls out its pipe and attempts to bludgeon the wild Belarus! Although the wild Russia is not normally aggressive, it can become quite dangerous if it feels threatened.

The wild Belarus seems to be completely unaffected by the wild Russia's pipe, however. It tries to glomp the wild Russia, but the wild China from earlier suddenly attacks the wild Belarus from behind. The wild Belarus pulls out its knife and slashes it at the wild China, but the wild China pulls out its wok and blocks the attack! With a lucky shot, the wild Belarus manages to knock the wild China's wok away! The wild Belarus moves in to finish the wild China off, but…..oh my!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a historic moment! The wild China seems to be using its Aru Beam on the wild Belarus! No one has ever managed to capture a wild China's Aru Beam on camera before! There have been doubts that the Aru Beam even exists!

Anyway, the Aru Beam is super effective, and the wild Belarus runs away in defeat.

The wild Russia, upon hearing the departing wild Belarus, looks around cautiously as the wild China approaches it slowly.

It seems the wild Russia has taken a liking to the wild China; it begins to perform its mating dance.

Before the wild China can respond to the wild Russia's mating dance, a wild America (bloated after feeding from the nearby herd of hamburgers and drinking from the Cola Spring) wanders on to the scene. It looks completely oblivious, but then wild Americas usually do.

It observes the wild Russia and the wild China locked in their mating ritual and, from the way it's acting, we believe that it seems to think that it would be a good idea to rape the wild China.

It seems that the wild Russia will have none of this nonsense, though. The wild Russia happily massacres the wild America and continues it's mating dance.

The wild China seems to be impressed with the wild Russia. It begins its mating cry of "Aiyaa!" and contorts its facial features to show that it has accepted the wild Russia as a mate.

When the wild Russia sees that the wild China has accepted it as a mate, it begins a different version of its mating kol as it slowly closes in on the wild China.

The wild China approaches the wild Russia and begins rubbing itself against the wild Russia. The wild Russia, being very much aroused at this point, promptly glomps the wild China.

_We regret to inform you, our audience, that the idiot TV station that broadcasts our show will not let us air what happens next. We will, however, be putting the rest of the video on our VHS release of this episode, so look forward to it._

A/N: And I will be posting a smutty version of this story next so look forward to it!


	2. The Wild Russia's Mating Kol VHS Edition

A/N: This is the VHS release version of the episode. It starts out the same as the other one, but it's missing the warning and it has the smut that the other version lacks.

Welcome nature lovers to the first episode of World Nature.

In today's episode, we will be observing a wild Russia in its natural habitat. We join the wild Russia just after it wakes from its afternoon nap in the sunflower field it lives near. The wild Russia loves sunflowers and this one in particular likes to take a nap in this field every day.

The wild Russia walks through the sunflowers, stopping to sniff one every now and then, smiling happily at the cheery yellow petals. It makes its way its watering hole beyond the field, the Vodka River. So far, we've only seen this Russia drink from this particular stream. There must be something about it that it likes….

What's this? The wild Russia seems to be making some kind of sound….

Ladies and Gentlemen: we are fortunate enough to be witnessing a rare thing. This wild Russia is doing its mating call. Let's listen in….

"…"

I wonder what creature will respond to the mating kol?

Oh! What's that over there?

Oh my! The wild Russia's mating kol seems to have attracted a wild China!

A wild China responding to a wild Russia's mating kol. This is not something one sees every day! Let's see what happens….

The wild China cautiously approaches the wild Russia.

Oh no! It seems that a wild Belarus has also been attracted by the wild Russia's mating kol!

Seeing the wild Belarus, the wild Russia ceases it's mating kol and switches to its fear signal:

"GOAWAYGOAWAYGOAWAY…"

Meanwhile, the wild Belarus had begun its own mating call:

"Marrymemarrymemarryme…"

Look at that! The wild Belarus is now rushing at the wild Russia, chanting its mating call faster! What will the wild Russia do?

The wild Russia seems to be panicking! It pulls out its pipe and attempts to bludgeon the wild Belarus! Although the wild Russia is not normally aggressive, it can become quite dangerous if it feels threatened.

The wild Belarus seems to be completely unaffected by the wild Russia's pipe, however. It tries to glomp the wild Russia, but the wild China from earlier suddenly attacks the wild Belarus from behind. The wild Belarus pulls out its knife and slashes it at the wild China, but the wild China pulls out its wok and blocks the attack! With a lucky shot, the wild Belarus manages to knock the wild China's wok away! The wild Belarus moves in to finish the wild China off, but…..oh my!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a historic moment! The wild China seems to be using its Aru Beam on the wild Belarus! No one has ever managed to capture a wild China's Aru Beam on camera before! There have been doubts that the Aru Beam even exists!

Anyway, the Aru Beam is super effective, and the wild Belarus runs away in defeat.

The wild Russia, upon hearing the departing wild Belarus, looks around cautiously as the wild China approaches it slowly.

It seems the wild Russia has taken a liking to the wild China; it begins to perform its mating dance.

Before the wild China can respond to the wild Russia's mating dance, a wild America (bloated after feeding from the nearby herd of hamburgers and drinking from the Cola Spring) wanders on to the scene. It looks completely oblivious, but then wild Americas usually do.

It observes the wild Russia and the wild China locked in their mating ritual and, from the way it's acting, we believe that it seems to think that it would be a good idea to rape the wild China.

It seems that the wild Russia will have none of this nonsense, though. The wild Russia happily massacres the wild America and continues it's mating dance.

The wild China seems to be impressed with the wild Russia. It begins its mating cry of "Aiyaa!" and contorts its facial features to show that it has accepted the wild Russia as a mate.

When the wild Russia sees that the wild China has accepted it as a mate, it begins a different version of its mating kol as it slowly closes in on the wild China.

The wild China approaches the wild Russia and begins rubbing itself against the wild Russia. The wild Russia, being very much aroused at this point, promptly glomps the wild China.

The wild China lets out a small 'eep' as the much larger wild Russia pins it down. The wild China now seems to be just as aroused as the wild Russia. The wild China takes full advantage of the much larger and heavier wild Russia being on top of it by grinding its hips upward into the wild Russia

This behavior appears to be driving the wild Russia crazy. It growls indistinctly at the wild China and begins to tear at the wild China's shirt with its teeth. After it removes the shirt, the wild Russia begins licking and kissing its way across the wild China's chest. The wild China seems to enjoy this; it arches its spine and mewls softly. It especially seems to enjoy it when the wild Russia sucks gently on each of it's nipples in turn, before returning to the rest of its chest.

The wild Russia sucks on the wild China's throat for a bit before leaving a wet trail down the wild China's chest toward its stomach. The wild Russia comes to the top of the wild China's pants and goes a bit lower to nibble gently on the wild China's obvious arousal. Even through the pants, the wild China seems to find this action pleasurable as it cries out and begins panting heavily, face flushing.

The wild Russia seems to think the wild China's pants are now in the way. It savages the wild China's pants and underwear, leaving nothing but confetti behind. The wild China gasps a bit as it is completely exposed and begins crying out needily, begging the wild Russia to continue its ministrations.

The wild Russia leans between the wild China's legs and begins licking its member slowly and gently. The wild China begins to whimper and the wild Russia nibbles on the member gently before taking it into its mouth.

The wild China cries out loudly as its member is consumed by the wild Russia's mouth. It attempts to buck its hips up into the warm, wet cave, but the wild Russia won't allow that. It places a hand on the wild China's stomach and holds it down firmly.

By this time, the wild China is letting out a constant stream of mewling and whimpering, begging to have more of itself engulfed in the wild Russia's mouth. Hearing this, the wild Russia obliges. It begins moving its mouth up and down the wild China's length, flicking its tongue across it occasionally and nibbling on the tip gently.

The tone of the wild China's cries has changed; it seems to be coming close to release. Surely the wild Russia won't let it end here?

Ah, no. Almost as if it has heard the fan girls' pleas, the wild Russia has stopped before the wild China could cum. Ladies and gentlemen, there will be more of a show after all.

The wild Russia seems to be dissatisfied with its own clothes now. It carefully unwraps its scarf, before ripping off its coat and shirt. This wild Russia seems to have no patience for clothes today. Once its top half is bare, the wild Russia removes its own pants and underwear leaving itself bare to the world.

This wild Russia is the largest specimen of its species that we have ever encountered. It might be one for the Guinness Book of World Records! I wonder if the wild China will be able to handle mating with it. The wild China is rather petite.

The wild Russia parts the wild China's legs and begins to search for its entrance. Finding it, the wild Russia pokes its tongue into the wild China's entrance and begins moving it in and out. The wild China gasps at the feeling of a wet tongue inside itself and once again tries to buck its hips, but the wild Russia is still holding it down by the stomach.

Once the inside of the wild China is good and lubricated, the wild Russia sucks briefly on three of its own fingers before inserting the first one into the entrance. The second finger goes in, and the wild China wriggles in what we imagine must be discomfort. Finally, the third finger goes in and the wild China cries out in pain.

The wild Russia appears to be trying to comfort the wild China. It strokes the wild China's hair as it pumps the fingers in and out. The wild China eventually calms down and the wild Russia seems to think that the wild China is ready. The wild Russia removes its fingers from the hole and lines itself up at the entrance. When it receives the okay from the wild China, it pushes its tip in.

The wild China gasps a bit at the intrusion. Looks like the wild China might've underestimated the wild Russia's size. The wild Russia slowly pushes itself all the way in, then stops so that the wild China can adjust. Once the wild China signals that it is ready, the wild Russia pulls itself out and then slams back in. Changing the angle, the wild Russia once again slides out and pushes back in. Repeating itself a third time causes the wild China to go rigid and cry out in ecstasy. The wild Russia appears to be happy about this. It continues thrusting at that angle, speeding up and causing the wild China to cry out in pleasure.

As it continues to thrust, the wild Russia leans in and captures the wild China's mouth with its own. The wild China kisses back ferociously, nipping at the wild Russia's tongue and forcing its way inside its mouth. They break off the kiss and the wild Russia turns its attention to the wild China's weeping member. The wild Russia pumps the length vigorously in time with its thrusting and the flush-faced wild China practically screams with pleasure.

The wild China's whole body shudders as it cums into the wild Russia's hand and all over its own stomach. The wild Russia cries out as it cums seconds later into the wild China, filling it up with its hot fluids. The wild China collapses beneath the wild Russia, completely exhausted. The wild Russia rests for a minute before it sits up.

Carefully, the wild Russia cleans the wild China and then itself up before pulling the wild China onto its back and grabbing its scarf. The wild Russia carries the half asleep wild China through the sunflower field back to its den. There, the wild Russia and the wild China curl up together on the wild Russia's bed of sweet grasses and sunflower petals and sleep off their exhaustion in warmth and comfort.

A/N: Next up will be "The Hunting Grounds of the wild America"


	3. The Hunting Grounds of the Wild America

_ Attention viewers: We, the TV station airing this show, recommend that parents use discretion before allowing young children to watch this episode as there is quite a bit of blood and animal violence. Thank you._

Ah, the crisp, cool air of late fall. Rejuvenating scents waft all around us as we approach our destination. For today's episode of World Nature we have brought you, our faithful viewers, to a place not many people get the chance to see: the hunting grounds of a wild America. As you may or may not know, wild Americas are voracious eaters and hunt quite often. During this particular time of year, though, wild America's hunt several times a day in order to prepare themselves for the lack of food during the winter months. We have been studying this particular wild America for some time and know that it will hunt here today. In fact, it should be here any moment.

Wait, what's this? The ground beneath us is beginning to tremble and I can see dust clouds off in the distance! Could this be what we have been waiting for? Yes! I can see it now! If you look closely, you'll see them running past a little way off. That, my dear audience, is a hamburger herd! A herd of hamburgers stampeding like this is a sure sign that there is a wild America on the hunt.

There's our wild America now, running along behind the herd. Wild Americas are usually "lone wolves" so to speak, but this one seems to have a pack with it. A wild England, a wild France, a wild Russia, and a wild China; it is strange to see so many wild nations cooperating with a wild America, especially since wild Americas are known to be a bit annoying.

The wild America barks some kind of comment at the others and they all back off slightly; it would seem that they are the wild America's backup and have been ordered to back off until called upon. It looks like the wild America wants to try making the first kill by itself, despite how dangerous stampeding hamburgers have been known to be.

The wild America spots a hamburger it likes the looks of and gives chase, quickly catching to it and snapping at it. The hamburger bellows in fear; looking at it carefully, you can see the whites of its eyes.

Finished worrying its prey, the wild America suddenly leaps at the hamburger and lands square on its rump. The hamburger squeals in fear and tries to buck it off, but the wild America latches on, ready to wear its prey out.

Eventually, the hamburger stumbles, exhausted, and the wild America rips out its throat, swiftly killing it. Red and yellow blood spurts from the neck wound and, as the wild America begins to eat its catch, glutinous red guts, filled with seeds, ooze out onto the ground.

As the wild America eats its catch, the other wild nations, who were brought along as backup, begin to get bored. None of them eat hamburgers and, as it doesn't look like they will be called upon for assistance, they each begin wandering off in search of winter rations of their own. The wild England and the wild China both head in the direction of Tea Lake, where they slake their thirst before heading in opposite directions: the wild England in the direction of Scone Canyon, and the wild China toward Bamboo Glade where it will collect bamboo shoots and other veggies and herbs to store away in its den with the meat it already has. The wild Russia wanders aimlessly in the direction of its favorite watering hole, the Vodka River, where it will probably drink itself senseless. Finally, the wild France, feeling randomly horny (as wild Frances are known to be sometimes), wanders off to find something at least partially sentient to rape (because everyone knows that a wild France will rape pretty much any living thing that stands still long enough) before enjoying a puddle of the finest wine.

The wild America finishes its meal and looks up to find its companions gone. It shrugs it off and chases after another hamburger. It catches and kills the hamburger quickly and carries it back to its den to store it away for the winter. Once done with that, it heads off in the direction of the French Fry Fields in order to collect and store some of the edible plants that grow there (because you know wild Americas are omnivorous.)

And this is where we must leave the wild America. We hope you have enjoyed today's episode and we very much hope you will join us for the next episode.

A/N: I can guarantee at least one more episode after this one, but I'm not sure about after that.


	4. IMPORTANT: Please read

Just a quick note for people who watch me: I'm very bad about uploading my stories here. Mostly because I hate the document uploader and how awkward it is to use and how it always messes up the format of my story, but also because I sometimes just forget... ^^;

Anyway, I always upload my stories to deviantART as soon as they are finished and my proof-reader has checked them over, so if you like my stories and have a dA, feel free to stalk me there. In the mean-time, I'll try to be better about putting my stories up here.


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